How many of us are worried about thoughts such as did I say something stupid? Did I act in a weird way? What if people think I am stupid or annoying? We need to be aware of that; what other people think about us can easily get our mind wandering to dark place and this triggers feelings of self-doubt, anxiety and insecurity. In fact, we all know that we shouldn’t worry about other’s opinions of us, but that’s just easier said than done! To do so, the following simple ways will help us.
1. Realize that you are not a mind-reader
Can we really know what other people think about us? We often think we know, but assumptions can often lead us to bad conclusions. We never know what other people think unless we gave them a chance to express their feeling or thought.
2. Act on what will serve you long-term
Of course, judgement from others can hurt us, but not as much as the pain of missing the opportunity due to fear of getting a negative reaction from others. These negative responses from others affect us instantly, but regret over missed opportunities is something that grows over time. So we need to have willingness to take short-term rejections in return for what will serve us long-term.
3. Stop judging yourself
Just pause for a second and think about it; what we are afraid others will judge us for is really what we judge ourselves for. Therefore, if we stop judging ourselves and accept ourselves, we have no need to fear judgements from other people.
4. Stop judging others
The more we evaluate/judge others, the more we think that other people are judging us. So instead of judging others it’s better to appreciate and see them as important people who will help us to improve and develop our life.
5. Realize that it’s not about you
Based on their perspectives, experience, wounds, fears and limitations people display negative reactions; but bear in mind that it has nothing to do with us. For example, when we decide to start a business, a person may tell us ’’I’m sure, that you will have no free time whatsoever in the coming months/even years’’. This is his/her, own idea of starting a business not ours.
6. Focus on what makes you happy
If we are afraid to do what makes us happy (but consider the society’s norm and values), we should be aware of that we are wasting our time in useless worry. So, instead of channelling our precious energy which makes a difference in our life, it’s better to focus on activities which will make us happy.
7. Sort out what upsets you
Regarding what is it we worry others will judge us for? May be regarding our job situation, our relationships with others, or perhaps our skill and intelligence we have. Therefore, first we should have to acknowledge what triggers uncertainty within us and sort them out and either accept or change in some way if we can do; because if we can come up to ease with our situation, we won’t need to worry any longer about reactions from others.
8. Accept yourself
We need to accept and acknowledge our imperfections, flaws, and weaknesses. But remember that we are unique; never ever have been or ever will be a person on this planet with the same set of personality traits and talents.
9. Expect reactions
We should have to expect reactions instead of being afraid to create them (don’t be scared of awakening other’s feeling). Because unless we can create whether positive response in someone, we probably haven’t dared to be ourselves fully.
10. Talk with a person you think is judging you
If we get a chance to have conversation with people we think are judging us, we will be surprised to see them with loads of worries even we never could have imagined. Who knows perhaps they are worrying about what other people might think of them too. So be more open and talk with other people.